Breaking The Stigma

The topic of mental health is something that’s particularly important to me.

I really started to think about a few years ago when I lost a friend to suicide. I remember it like it was yesterday. The phone call finding out he was gone. Being shocked that he chose to end his life. Being shocked that he was struggling that bad. I didn’t know. I struggled with that. Struggling with the thought I didn’t know he was in a bad place. Struggling with the feeling that I could and should have tried to do more to be there with him.

At that point in my life, I had yet to consciously recognize that I shared the same struggle. Mental health was and is currently and issue for me just like it is for millions of other people in the world today.

For years, the world looked down on mental health issues. If you are a person that struggles with anxiety people told you to calm down. They told you to just not live-in fear. If you struggled with depression, they told you to just focus on the good times and not dwell on the bad. They told you to just choose to be happy. The same goes for other mental health afflictions. It’s gotten better over the years, but the stigma Is still there.

Too many people in this world still look down on people that struggle with mental health. They think less of them. What they don’t realize is feeling that way only pushes people with mental health struggles further down the rabbit hole. People who struggle with mental health don’t make the conscious choice to do so. There is something in their brain that makes them prone to feeling that way and prone to thinking that way. It’s not a conscious decision they make. In some cases, they can learn behaviors to help keep their heads in a better space. In some cases, they can’t. In some cases, it takes a lot of hard work and sometimes it even takes medication to get to that place.

When a person is struggling with mental health. They feel alone. They feel like no one can possibly understand what they are going through. I can’t speak to anxiety, but I can speak to what it’s like to struggle through depression. It’s a complete and utter feeling of being less than. You look at almost every single aspect of your life and you can’t find happiness in any of it. It’s an emptiness. It causes you to ask why this is your life. It causes you to ask why you can’t be happy like other people. It’s a black hole that on certain days you think you will never find your way out of. The hardest thing in the world to do is to reach out and tell people you aren’t ok. When you must be afraid that people will possibly look down on you for it, that makes it even harder.

So, what can you do for a person that is struggling with their mental health?

Just be there. Don’t confront them. Don’t try to force them to “get help.” Just be there. It can be as simple as calling them and saying, “hey do you want to come over” or “hey do you want go grab a beer.” They may say no if they do wait a little bit and try again. You can also call them or send them a text and just tell them if they need anything you’re here for them. Sometimes that’s all it takes. That effort may be the difference for that person where eventually they’ll confide in you and come to you when they need someone the most. You may not completely understand what they are struggling with but just knowing you won’t judge them for it is enough.

For me personally I’m lucky and blessed. I struggle with mental health and have for years. I don’t struggle nearly as much as others do. I’ve only had two occasions in my life where things got dark to the point where the thought of whether I wanted to go on or not even happened. In those cases, I never once seriously had thoughts about it, I just questioned whether it was worth it to continue to live with the pain and the feeling of emptiness. Countless others aren’t that lucky. They struggle in those darkest of places on a regular basis. They feel like there is no way out. In many cases that feeling causes to make an incredibly tragic decision.

Instead of thinking less of people who struggle with mental health let’s be different. Let’s not think it’s as simple as changing the way we think or just making a choice because it’s not. I’d challenge anyone that reads this that if you know someone who struggles with mental health or if you think you know someone that might reach out to them. Send them a text checking on them if you haven’t talked to them in a little bit. Ask them if they want to hang out or meet up somewhere.  They may tell you they are ok. They may tell you no. They may not. No matter their answer I promise it’s going to mean a lot to them to know someone out there cares especially when they are probably feeling like nobody does.

Do your part to be part of the solution and end the stigma that surrounds mental ealth issues and disorders. If we lived in a world where people who struggle with this felt more accepted and loved despite their struggles it would save lives. There would not be as many people who feel like they have no way out and the only option is to make a tragic decision. Struggling with a mental health disorder does make you different than people. It does not make you less than other people.